The Secret Sits
by Bratling
Summary: A little bit of HM fluffiness, set in season seven.


The Secret Sits

By LauraBF

Disclaimer: If you think they're mine, you're sadly mistaken. I borrowed them, hugged them, squeezed them, and called them George and then gave them back like a good girl. Seriously, Harm, Mac, and the TV series JAG belong to Donald P. Bellisario, Belisaurius Productions, Paramount Pictures, and Columbia Broadcasting Service Entertainment

Author's Note: I get more screwy ideas from talking to my beta reader... While this time, it isn't her fault, this little what-if came from talking to her. This story is set sometime after the JAGathon but before Bud lost his leg and everything went all to hell. IMHO, that's just about the point when TPTB started screwing up the JAG universe and practicing massive character assassination. So… spoilers up to Capital Crime, but nothing after that. We're going back to a more innocent time in the JAGverse, when TPTB gave us more hope for Harm and Mac. I blatantly stole the title for this from Robert Frost.

$$$$$$

"We dance round in a ring and suppose,  
But the Secret sits in the middle and knows."  
Robert Frost, 1942, The Secret Sits

11 JANUARY 2002

2205 LOCAL  
HARM'S APARTMENT  
NORTH OF UNION STATION  
WASHINGTON, DC

I've missed this. It's been a long time since Harm and I have hung out. Even longer since we watched movies together, or been comfortable enough with each other to do it. It wasn't that long ago that we promised that we'd start over--from the beginning. But I'm not sure we can do that; I'm not sure I can do that. I'm not talking about holding on to the bad stuff--I'm talking about starting over as to how I feel about him.

I sneak a glance at my partner and move a little closer to him. He complies with my unspoken request by putting his arm around my waist. I lean into him. It's been so long since I've been able to do this. It feels so familiar, so comforting. Harm's embrace feels like… home.

Of course, there's the inevitable surge of electricity that passes through me at his touch, but I've learned to deal with it. Or so I tell myself. I glance up at him and smile. He's focused on the movie, and there's a little smile on his face. Oh, it's not the full-blown flyboy smile, but it's a smile. I've missed that, too.

I lay my head on his shoulder and put my hand on his thigh. He doesn't react except to smile at me. The worn blue jeans he's wearing have been taunting me all night. I know for a fact that the reason why he's sitting like that is so I can't see the hole in the crotch of them. Absently, I stroke the soft material, and stick my fingers through the hole in the knee to tickle him a little. I know I shouldn't, but, well, those jeans are an open invitation for me to try something.

He grabs my hand and pulls it against his chest. Okay, so my mind is wandering in a different direction than tickling him, but after Sydney, I don't think he wants that from me. We did agree to start at the beginning, though. If we could really start over, I think instead of turning him over to Uncle Matt, I should've kissed the hell out of him. And instead of saying what I did in Sydney, well, I should have kissed him then, too. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that he thought I was propositioning him in Sydney--that I was asking for a fling while we were in Australia. I'd forgotten that it takes Harm a while to process things. I shouldn't have blindsided him like that. "Harm, can I have my hand back?" I ask with feigned irritation.

"Nope," he says, giving me a wide smile. "I caught it, so I get to keep it."

I glance over at him and notice the sparkle of mischief in his eyes. So he wants to play it that way, hmm? "What is this, some sort of rule for sailors?" I ask teasingly.

"Nope," his smile gets even bigger. "Fishermen. And I've been fishing for a long time."

I'm waiting for it. I know it'll show up; I can see the signs. There it is! Yep, that's one of the things I wanted to see--a full-blown, tip-of-his-tongue-between-his-teeth, happy flyboy smile. I give him a smile of my own. "Does that mean I get to keep what I catch?" I ask. I'm betting that he'll think that I'm kidding, but I'm not. I want to catch me a flyboy. If I ever manage to catch the elusive Harmon Rabb, I'm never letting him go.

I didn't think it'd be possible, but his smile widens a bit more. "Of course you can, Mac," he says. His eyes are turning smoky. It's a look I've caught him giving me before--like when he told me that he doesn't think of me as a sister.

I lean over and pat him on the chest. He loosens his grip a little, so I get my other hand back. I kiss him on the nose and giggle. "Got my hand back," I tease.

Uh oh. He's giving me that look. The one that says that I've started a contest and there's no way in hell he intends to lose it. "Are you sure of that, Marine?" he asks.

I can take him. As he pointed out, I am a Marine. Granted, I don't want to hurt him, but there's no way I'm going to lose! "Yup," I reply. "I can take anything you can dish out, Harmon!"

He just gives me that smile again, then pretends to watch the movie. I know him. He's planning a sneak attack. And I'm waiting for it. I swear, if he smiles at me like that again, I'm going to do it--I'm going to kiss him and see where it leads. I've thought about seducing him more than once, but I'm not going for seduction here. There was a time that I couldn't see my life without Harm in it, and heaven help me, but I'm almost back to that point.

I've managed to survive without him, but it was just too hard--I want to keep my flyboy with me… where he belongs. I don't just want to sleep with him--I'm not like Bobbi, or Annie, Jordon, or Renee. I want the whole picture. I want the white picket fence, a couple of kids, and a minivan with him. Oh, I'm sure that Renee wanted that, too, but unlike her, I think I have a better chance of getting it. Maybe. But while our current relationship is safe, there's too much missing from it.

Unlike his previous relationships, Harm has already promised me part of the American dream. I already have his word that in a few years, his child is mine. I've known people who've done that--had a baby between friends, but I want more. Yes, I want that baby, but I want Harm, too. In my life. In my bed. As my husband. I'm not like the others. His flying may scare me, but it's part of who he is. I don't want him just for decoration, and I don't really want to change him… except for one thing. I want him to tell me, at least once, just how he feels.

I know better than most that with him, actions speak louder than words. I think maybe, just this once, I should show him instead of completely screwing up a conversation and trying to get him to 'fess up first. For once, I, Sarah Mackenzie, am going after what I want. And that means that I've got to trap me a flyboy and kiss him--but first I have to wait for him to retaliate so I can, um, back him into a corner or something.

I'm pretending to pay attention to the movie, but really, my attention is on Harm. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see his free hand moving towards me. He's going to tickle me. I know he is. And I'm going to let him; I need an excuse for a little… revenge of my own.

Here he goes! He grabs hold of me and starts tickling my sides. I can't help it. Even though I knew it was coming, I shriek with laughter. I grab hold of him and drop him to the ground. With one fluid movement, I grab his wrists and force them to the ground as I swing my leg over his prone body and sit on him. Now, I know he could break out of this--I'm not exactly holding him hard, but, I also know that he won't. At least, not right away. "Looks like I caught me a sailor," I say with a smirk. "Now--whatever should I do with him?"

I lean over so that my face is directly over his and give him my sweetest smile. "Let him go?" he inquires.

"Nope," I answer. "I get to keep what I caught, remember?" I'm vaguely aware of the fact that this new position has brought my butt into direct contact with his crotch, but really, it's nothing new. Except for the fact that this is Harm. I lean down a little more until we're sharing our breaths. "Are you sure that you want me to throw you back?" I ask as I stare at his kissable lips.

I suppress a smile as I notice that his eyes are starting to glaze over. "Nuh uh," he answers slowly.

I've hit gold! Now, I've got to… stake my claim. I lean down a bit more and kiss him. I admit, it's not exactly the breath-stealing kiss I'd imagined us sharing, but I think it's actually better. It's soft, sweet, and full of love. I let go of his arms, and they come up around me, holding me tightly to him. I request entrance into his mouth and explore it, reveling in the taste that I know is him. Slowly, I break off the kiss, then start scattering kisses across his face.

"Mac?" he says, breathlessly.

"Uh huh?" I'm busy kissing him. And I think I can feel his reaction to that one kiss. I settle more firmly on his lap to confirm what I think I already know. Yep. Harm had a definite reaction to that kiss.

"I don't want just one night." He says. "Why'd you kiss me?"

"Neither do I," I reply. "Because I love you." I pause for a few minutes so I can explore his ear. "Thought you'd like to know." I continue my explorations. I'm determined to cover every square inch of skin that he'll let me see. He's mine. All mine. And I refuse to let any other blonde bimbo come between us.

"Okay," he says, then kisses me. I mean, really kisses me. It's a cross between the kiss on the pier and the kiss on the Admiral's porch, only more. Let's just say that Harmon Rabb knows how to kiss--and if he's as good with his mouth on… other portions of my anatomy, I may never survive.

The kiss ends, as he flips us over and slips a hand under my shirt. "I love you, Mac," he says, panting.

Okay, so it's not the most romantic declaration of love I've ever had. But it's right, because it's Harm. "Good," I say.

"Let's get married," he says, then kisses me again.

"Yes," I say immediately, without pausing to think. I kiss him again, over and over, punctuating each kiss with another yes. He pulls back and stands, then offers me a hand. What the hell did he do that for? I wanted to kiss him some more. Hell, I wanted to explore some undiscovered territory. I grab his hand and allow him to help me up.

"Come with me," he says, then gives me another soft kiss.

Mutely, I nod, and follow him into his bedroom. Yes! Okay, we're engaged now, right? So I can do some exploration! Just as my hand starts to creep towards the button on his jeans, he grabs it and laces his fingers through mine. I heave a sigh as he uses his free hand to dig through the bedside table. Well, holding his hand is good. I can be patient--yeah right. We're finally to the point where ravishing each other is acceptable, and he won't let me try.

Harm pulls a worn, rubbed, stained black velvet box out of the drawer and relinquishes my hand so he can open it. He drops to one knee and pulls me down so I'm sitting on the bed in front of him. He opens the box and gives me a smile. "Marry me, Mac? I never want to lose you, Sarah. Stay with me forever?"

"Yes!" I want to kiss him again, but before I can, he's pulled the ring out of the box, and busied himself with pulling my OCS ring off and replacing it with the engagement ring.

He smiles then. And it's the smile I love the most--the full one that makes my insides turn into marshmallow. "Okay," he says softly, then gets up, sits next to me on his bed, and pulls me into his arms for another kiss. My last coherent thought is that the details of how this will work can wait--after all this time, I've finally found home.

(never) The End


End file.
